DREAMLAND #1

For a while now I've been thinking about writting a dream journal. I've also been told by quite some people that I should due to my very strange dreams. However since I rather write on paper I haven't done so until today. More than the lack of time, it's also a matter of beeing pratical, and ultimately a question of privacy since even the walls have eyes. So why not start right now, for lack of better timing? Is there ever a good time for anything?

On July 31st I dreamt about a ghost from the past, the only guy I've ever dated and also the only one I've ever loved. I don't really remember how it all started just that we reconected and we ended up getting back together. Yeah right?! The past is the past for a reason...

What I remember most vividly is the feelling... we were happy, actually happier. but I knew it was a dream when he confessed I was the person he had loved the most... if he had loved me even half he would have tried harder...

So I started to wonder, why after 7 years do I suddenly dream about him of all people? Maybe I've been alone for too long, or maybe all the changes in my life have made me miss having someone to lean on... maybe I'm just lonely! Uh... who knows? 

I think it's a bit of everything, and more than that I miss how happy being with someone made me feel... to the point I would forget all my worldly problems. I miss the feelling of loving someone so completely that you feel it in your every breath. Most of all I miss being loved by someone, feeling wanted... like I'm worth something, like I belong somewhere no matter how hard life is. I miss feelling like I'm home.